Can Apple Fix the Universal Negativity Toward iTunes Connect App Reviews?

Why is it that everyone we talk to who has ever developed iOS apps cringes when you say, "My app is in review." We feel the same pukey feeling in our guts when our app is "Waiting for Review" or "In Review."

Dear Apple: any time that hundreds of thousands of developers all feel the same negativity towards something, it seems like it's something you could maybe look at fixing?!? I fully agree with the idea that your quality control makes the iTunes App Store a much better experience than all the other app stores out there. That said, I think you could improve the experience of having apps reviewed and still maintain the high level of quality.

Here are my thoughts for how you could make the process better:

1. Tell us how many apps are in front of us.  Let us see them being counted down.  Progress bars help people feel patient because they know how much is left.
2. Be transparent about average review times. It's OK to put all your disclaimers out there about all apps being different, not having guarantees on time, etc. but it's nice to know how long things are taking now.  The fact that http://appreviewtimes.com/ exists and gets tons of traffic means you're not being transparent enough with your information.  We know you track the average review time.  Share it, and developers will know what to expect.
3. Have more consistency with your reviewers. At lunch today, we were joking with some developers from another local company about how you never know what you're going to get--it depends on the mood of the reviewer, the alignment of the stars, and the price of tea in China. This one is easy to suggest and hard to implement.
4. Have a TSA Pre-check. I can't believe I'm going to say that you should do something that the government is doing, but that's how bad the experience is right now.  Allow developers that have had several clean reviews in a row to automatically go through an expedited line, where the reviewer can be a little bit less thorough.  If you need to do a follow-up, consider a two-stage review where you allow the app to be sold while the second stage is waiting for review.